A Christmas Promise
by HeartyMedusa
Summary: Set between ME2 (post Arrival DLC) and ME3 (before Shep's 6 month arrest). A promise made before the Normandy was destroyed and honored only once is finally beimg upheld again. This is a bit of fluff for FemShep and Kaidan and is just a holiday special from your truly.
1. Chapter One: Kaidan

There was a secret that was just between the two of them. They had only been able to accomplish it once before...

After that, well, it was no longer possible.

None the less, every year since, he had returned with a gift, just so that her memory would never be forgotten. And the gifts remained in the same place year-round, never opened- under a tree that he never took down.

That first year without her had been horrible. They had boxed the tree and decorations up after that first year. It took them as long to tear it down as it did to put it up. They continued to stop due to...ahem, distractions...due to desires. That had been the best week he could remember having...ever. But, without her, it took even longer to put everything up. He kept having to stop- his heart hurt to know that he was there, decorating _their_ tree without her.

That was when he began to truly umderstand how widows felt (putting aside the fact that he and Bri had never been married).

He wondered if she even remembered it- or if she even knew (on the chance that she really was a Cerberus clone and not the real one).

It didn't really matter.

It was a memory he would always treasure.

He always arrived on the twenty-second of December (in the evening), just as they had done that first year. That first night, he would do nothing more than drink beer and change the holo-windows to snow (the sandy planet didn't really lend itself to a holiday feeling). He remained depressed the entire visit, but that first day was the worse.

They had arrived a little late in the day, but they had every intention of putting up the tree- their tree (they had stopped and bought one on their way to Intai'sei). Of course, _that_ idea hadn't lasted long.

Kaidan walked over to the terminal next to the windows after he sat down the boxes and programed the windows to show snow. Shepard had walked over to him and took his hand as she watched the snow.

"Now all we need is some wine, a fire, and chocolate."

"What are you talking about Brianna?" he laughed, letting her hand go so he could pull her into his arms.

She leaned her head back so she could look at him. "You know, from the old vids. There'd be snow and the couple would snuggle up in front of a fire with glasses of red wine- the chocolate is optional. With the chocolate, they would feed each other chocolates while they shared sweet nothings or talked about small, trivial things...couple things."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. It was still great to hear her call them a couple. Eventually, he'd work up the nerve to tell her that he loved her. "We could do that," he murmured.

She turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his head down so she could whisper in his ear, "Or we could skip the fire and chocolate and go straight to the wine and sex." Her voice purred seductively in his ear.

He pulled back enough to kiss her. "Sex tonight," he murmured against her lips, "Tree tomorrow."

The first night was always hard, but it didn't get any easier. So, he stopped for a few boxes of beer (it was always a rough week) and a box of the red wine that she liked.

There was two other untouched boxes of the wine at the house. It was a tradition after all.

Christmas had been their first real shore leave together- they had made promises of mofre (and not just Christmas), but they only managed the one.

And, for that reason, he had Christmas forever off, just so he could go home and be alone with her memory.

They had promised, after all.

He, at least, would be home for Christmas.


	2. Chapter Two: Shepard

There was a part of her that wished that the call was nothing more than a social call. However, they both knew that that wasn't the case. Her missionwas complete and successful, and he was awaiting her report...and to report in.

Shepard stood in her cabin and watched the fish that she had finally found time to buy. They were just so high maintenance- nothing like her hamster Squeekers

"Admiral Hackett," she finally said, turning back to the holo-monitor, "Give me until the twenty-sixth- the twenty-seventh at the latest. I have an obligation that I missed out on for two years and, if I surrender to Alliance custody, they won't be ready to let me go in just a day or two.

Hackett remained silent as he studied her- he had a feeling that he knew who the obligation involved (after all, there was a certain Alliance Officer who always had Christmas off for "_personal reasons.")_. There was a sadness in her that had been there when he came to visit after the mission in the Bahak system went FUBAR, but this was, somehow, deeper. She would turn herself in ASAP if he ordered her to or if he denied her request- no, it was more like a plea. She was an Alliance marine through-and-through, no matter who she had to use for resources (she was an N7 operative after all)

Since Hannah Shepard had introduced her daughter all those years ago- she couldn't have been more than two or three-, he had watched after her. After she enlisted, he watched as she made countless sacrifices that no young woman should have to make. He had even offered her an out after her "shore-leave" on Elysium. She had laughed and then went through her special ops training. Since then, she had sacrificed even more

He would not make her sacrifice this obligation that weighed heavily on her shoulders. He nodded his head decisively. She constantly sacrificed everything for so little in return. "Commander-

She gave a humorless laugh. "Not anymore, remember?"

"Brianna," he said instead. "I can hold the Committee off until the first of the year. You have until January 1 at 0500."

She nodded her head with a look of gratitude that warmed his heart. "Thank you. It shouldn't take that long, but thank you, none-the-less.

"Be safe, Brianna," he ordered her

"Don't worry, I will be." She looked up at him with an expression that was torn between hope and fear. "I'll be home for Christmas." She stared at the three gifts sitting on her desk (two for the years she missed and one for the current year) and sighed. "Thank you, sir."

After the screen went blank, she commed down to Joker. "Head to the Phoenix system in the Argos Rho cluster," she ordered, walking to her closet to grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Field trip?"

Shepard took a few deep breaths. "After I take the shuttle, take the Normandy to Illium for shore-leave. One week."

Joker remained silent for a few seconds. "You're going to Intai'sei, aren't you?"

She pressed her forehead to the fishtank. "Joker," she warned quietly.

"ETA four hours." He fell silent again. "Want some company?"

"No. Like Alchera, I have to do this alone."

"Aye-aye."


	3. Chapter Three: Surprise

The shuttle touched down with a jolt and she felt her heart in her throat as she realized that there were no other shuttles. She swallowed her tears and went into the house she had won thanks to her ability to fight.

The memories of Pinnacle Station was laced with her memories of Kaidan, and, it seemed, most of her other thoughts were of him. She didn't feel the need to linger on those memories.

She preferred the ones when they weren't being Commander and Lieutenant, just Brianna and Kaidan.

She had only stayed there once for any measurable amount of time.

It was empty of all life and the fake tree still sat in the same place. The only thing that was different was the two gifts underneath the tree.

Before she could make her way over, the door behind her opened to reveal a stunned looking Kaidan.

"Brianna!" he gasped, his eyes taking her in.

"Kaidan," she sighed nervously, tearing her eyes from him, and looking pointedly at the gifts under the tree. "You never stopped coming, even after..."

He nodded. "We made a deal, Bri. No matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I'll always come home for Christmas."

She shook her head and noticed the boxes he was carrying and shook her head disapprovingly as she took the top one and carried it to the kitchen. "Why didn't you ever take down the tree?" she asked curiously.

Kaidan had remained in the doorway, not sure what he was supposed to do. "What're you doing here, Shepard?" he demanded, switching to a more formal attitude, calling her by her last name.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her temples. "Hackett gave me until the first to turn myself in." She looked him in the eye, straightened her shoulders, and said, "I intend to go to Earth after Christmas."

He walked into the kitchen and set his boxes down. "Why did you come?"

"First, this is my house-I know I left it to you in my will, but it seems that death doesn't quite stick to me," she joked half-heartedly. "Second, we made a promise. You really shouldn't hold those two years against me, I was dead after all."

"I should take you in."

"You're right," she agreed- which clearly shocked him. "Or we could honor our promise together. Let's...let's just pretend that I wasn't revived by a terrorist group and I didn't use them to fund a mission." She looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. "Please?" she begged.

Kaidan stared at her for a long time, having an internal argument. The pleading look in her blue eyes won him over though. "Okay, Bri." He picked out a bottle of wine and showed her, "Wine?"


	4. Chapter Four: Honesty

"Do you know what we need?" Kaidan asked, feeling himself relax against the couch as he drank some of the wine- he didn't want to think too hard on why he had poured himself a glass as well as opposed to grabbing a beer. He was pretty sure the answer would cause pain.

Tucking her feet underneath of herself, she shook her head as she watched him from her little corner of the couch. He was always a handsome man- that was the first thing she had noticed about him when Anderson had introduced them on the SR-1. "What?" she asked, drinking her wine as well. She cocked her head at a memory, and said, "Fire and chocolate?"

_Simply being here alone with you is enough,_ she thought. She had missed him during her mission against the Collectors.

A strange look crossed his face before it reset into one of distance. "Whiskey," he stated simply, setting down his glass and watching her.

Bri took a large drink of the wine and shrugged nervously. "Then why didn't you bring some instead of wine and beer?" She pursed her lips and then looked at him searchingly. "Did you really expect to drink a box of red wine and five boxes of beer in five days?"

"One question at a time, Bri." He looked beyond her to the window and his expression turned haunted. "You already answered the first one."

Frowning, she thought of what she had said. "You'll have to explain."

"That first night, after I turned the window to snow, you said all we needed was wine, a fire, and chocolate. You said that it was something they had in old vids." He glanced briefly at her before looking away. "The chocolate is in the shuttle."

Bri sat her glass down and looked at him for a long minute. "And you did this every year?"

"It was only two years," he hedged, running his hands through his hair.

"But why the beer?"

Kaidan looked at her with wide, haunted eyes. "If I had to drink the wine alone..." he paused and shook his head. "I couldn't."

"What'd you do with it all then?"

Kaidan gestured to the closet they had stored the tree and decorations in that first year. "It was a stupid waste of creds, but...there it is."

Emotion swelled in her chest and she found herself suddenly wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck- inhaling his scent and commiting it to memory (just as she had always done, from their first, accidental, embrace during a mission on some backwater planet, to everytime they lounged in bed, to Horizon). "You are an amazingly, wonderful man, Kaidan Alenko." she murmured against his neck.

His arms wrapped around her on their own accord. There was no way that he could have her arms wrapped around him without him responding. She was it for him- the woman he loved and always would (and he acknowledged that it sounded cheesy and mushy- not an appropriate thought of a battle-hardened marine). "Not really, but I make do."

Bri pulled back, but didn't return to her little corner, instead stayed pressed into his side with his arm wrapped around her. "Why so many boxes of beer?"

Kaidan battled internally to keep his eyes on her eyes and away from her lips. "It's always a long week. Memories," he murmured.

"Oh, Kaidan," she murmured affectionately before, without thinking, she pressed her lips to his own.


	5. Chapter Five: Hope

With her lips against his own, he finally knew- absolutely, without a doubt- that the woman pressed against his side was Brianna Shepard. There had never been a doubt that she looked or smelled like Bri, just if she was the _real_Bri. She kissed him just as she had the morning of the fateful day.

It wasn't his fault that he kissed her back.

Her lips evoked a powerful hunger deep in his stomach- a reminder of a feeling he hadn't felt in two and a half years. He pulled her so she was on his lap, never breaking away from the kiss. All he could think was that he could drown in her scent and die a happy man.

"Kaidan," she sighed against his lips, her hands running down his arms and back up.

With a moan, Kaidan buried his hands in her hair and tipped her head back to give him access to her throat. "I never forgot you, Bri," he growled into her neck, sending shivers down her back.

"And that doctor...on the Citadel?" she asked, pulling his face back up to her own.

He stared at her for a long minute, trying to comprehend her words in his hormone raging mind. "Not serious. Tiny blonde who's biggest adventure of the day, besides surgery, was deciding what color of shoes she should wear."

Wiggling teasingly on his lap, Bri stuck her tongue out at him. "Still not into the bookish sort?"

Kaidan caught her mouth against his own before saying, "I've already told you that I prefer my women more adventurous."

"The hearts you must've broken while I was...gone," she murmured, pulling away and laying her head against his shoulder. "You could've- _should've_- moved on, Kaidan. You deserve to be happy- to have a life and a family."

Kaidan shook his head and wrapped his arms around her. "Couldn't. I was happy...once. I had an amazing woman who cared about me and I cared about her." He buried his face in her hair and sighed. "The only problem was that it broke every rule that we had sworn to uphold."

Turning her head to look up into his whiskey eyes, she asked, "Was she worth the risk?"

Kaidan stood up with her in his arms and carried her into the only bedroom and sat her down on the bed gently before sitting down next to her and coaxing her to lay down with him. "Absolutely. There was a time when I wanted to hate her- when I _tried_ to hate her- for giving up her life to save our pilot, but then I realized that that was one of the reasons I was so gone over her. She was willing to give her life to save everyone- with no thought to her own safety-, and that made her something special."

"Was she worth the heartache?"

"She was something else, but she was very much worth the heartache."

They both fell silent for a long time and Kaidan wondered if, maybe, she had fallen asleep. "Can you ever forive me?" she asked in a small voice that broke his heart.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he sighed. "I'm going to try like hell, Bri. But, remember, right now we're pretending that the last two years hadn't happened."

Pressing tighter against his side, she asked, "Will you at least stay here with me tonight, Kaidan? Just...just hold me and make me feel...human, please?"

How could he refuse? Nodding his head, he murmured, "Go to sleep, Bri, I'm not goin anywhere."

"Tomorrow's another day," she murmured as she fell asleep, wrapped safely in his arms.


	6. Chapter Six: Very Civilian

_**Author Note:**_ _**I am in complete understanding that this is not cannon and varies from the storyline of the Mass Effect universe (which I love). This was the result of a prompt from and this is the expansion on the short story I did for it. Fear not, though, this will continue until Christmas/the day after (depending on how the writing goes).**_

* * *

Kaidan woke up alone the next morning and cursed himself silently for a good five minutes. Never before had he been so delusional as to believe that Br- _Shepard_ had shown up. He was alone in that stupid house that she had won in a bet and left to him after she died. He wondered if he'd ever be able to move on from her and the damn memories that he had trapped tightly in his mind, warring for him to be lost in.

Even as he struggled out of bed, he caught the scent of something... He sniffed a few times before he placed the scent that he only smelled when he went back home on Earth to visit his parents.

Bacon.

There was someone there cooking bacon and, from the sound of it, singing in the kitchen- well, _attempting_ to sing, anyway. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Kaidan stumbled his way into the living area and ground to a halt when he saw the sight was there to greet him.

Standing in front of the stove was Bri in one of his old shirts (he assumed it was one that he had left in one of the dressers or closet that first year) and nothing but long, tan legs. Every once in awhile, he would catch a glimpse of her black underwear as she was dancing (again, it was nothing more than an _attempt_, since every single person who served with her knew that she definately could_not_ dance) in time with the music. Her red hair had yet to be brushed and stuck up in odd angles, and seemed to defy gravity.

She was beautiful.

He didn't want to disrupt the picture in front of him, but his feet moved forward on their own accord and his arms wrapped around her. She quit singing and smiled as he kissed her cheek. "You weren't supposed to wake up yet," she informed him.

"D'you want me to go back to bed?" hs asked as he pressed kisses into her neck. After a second, he frowned. "You can cook? You made me cook everything last time."

They both silently marveled at the very domestic- very _civilian_- exchange they were engaged in. With a laugh that Kaidan had so very rarely heard, she shrugged. "You seemed pretty happy to cook for me, so I took advantage." She leaned away slightly to flip the scrambled eggs and the bacon before settling back into his arms. "Anyway, my ability to cook is pretty limited, but my dad made sure to teach me how to cook a proper breakfast and steak. Said, no matter if I was going to join the military, I'd eventually meet a good man and I should, at least, be able to cook eggs, bacon, and steak." She gave a sly smile as she said, "And he said that the man should cook the rest of the time."

Kaidan smiled as he stepped back as she picked up the pan and split the bacon and eggs- giving him a larger portion in consideration of his faster metabolism due to his biotics. "He was a smart man- your dad."

"Is- he _is_ a smart man. My dad is the Admiral of the seventh fleet. He and Hackett went to basic together." She sat the plates down on the table and then proceeded to get two glasses and filled them with ice and water. "There'd've been orange juice, but you didn't think that far ahead and I refuse to let you drink during breakfast."

Was it possible to fall in love with the same woman twice? Kaidan wasn't sure (especially since he had never stopped loving her the first time), but, it seemed like it was possible. "How about after?" he teased.

The look she gave him- the one the made mercs stop dead in their tracks and made Krogan re-think their course of action- made him chuckle. "No. Not until after lunch."

He took a bite of the food and nodded his approval.

Okay, three times he had fallen in love with her at that point. "Okay, mom."

With a half smile that hadn't changed a bit, she added, "And only if you fix lunch."

Kaidan nodded. "Only if you fix breakfast tomorrow."

"Deal."

"Wearing something similar to what you have on right now," he added.

With a laugh, she nodded her head. "Deal."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ _**I love comments, feedback, and ideas. Please feel free to let me know whatyou think! Oh, and I love followers and favorites and feel free to check out my other stories here on **_


	7. Chapter Seven: Another Breakfast

The twenty-third flew by without much else of major consequence. They finished breakfast and found another box of decorations that was hidden behind two boxes of unopened wine and they proceeded to put them up, stopping every now and again to laugh at their inability to decorate. Before they knew it, they had collapsed in bed together, snuggling as though just the mere touch of the other could drive away the demons that would soon be knocking.

Early on the twenty-fourth, Shepard slipped from bed and quietly dug through the single dresser and found nothin but old button-up shirts of Kaidan's. She pursed her lips but grabbed a blue one and put it on- refusing to button it (if he wanted her to cook in nothing but a shirt and underwear, he could have, at least, had the common decency to leave a real shirt for her to find).

She made her way out to the kitchen and began the process of making breakfast, keeping the music turned down low (and not singing). However, the need to dance was just too intense and she finally gave in. She didn't care if everyone (including Kaidan) said she couldn't dance. She had fun doing it. It wasn't her fault that her abilities were more suited to fighting on a battlefield in full armor instead of shaking her ass in some club to music that had four different beats clashing.

Bri had decided years ago that her dance was one that few ever got to experience. She could be graceful while shooting bullets and finding cover, so she called it a dance. Who gave a damn if she couldn't dance to the techno-club-dance crap they always had playing?

Honestly, she preferred music from the twentieth and twenty-first. There hadn't been so many conflicting beats occurring at the same time. She still couldn't dance, but it was easier to those beats.

"Good morning," she called over her shoulder- having heard him enter.

"What're you wearing?" Kaidan managed to choke out, forcing himself to stay in the doorway.

Bri turned to face Kaidan and he practically stopped breathing. She hadn't bothered to button the shirt and did nothing to hide her bra and panties. "One of your shirts, as you requested, Kaidan."

He needed to take a breath. He needed to breathe before he passed out from lack of oxygen. But, damn, she looked exactly the same as the last time he had seen her in so little clothes. And, still, he wondered how she managed to maintain that light tan when she was always on duty and in armor. "If I ask you to cook tomorrow and don't leave any shirts, what will you cook in, then?" he managed.

She turned away long enough to flip the bacon and eggs before turning around giving him a seductive smile and said, "Exactly what I'm wearing...minus the shirt."

Kaidan swallowed hard and made his way to the fridge to grab a beer, but she beat him there, and smack his hand away from the door. "And the rules of yesterday still apply, Kaidan Alenko."

His hand, on it's own accord, ended up pressed against her bare stomach and he growled possessively as he devoured her mouth in his own. After a few seconds, she pushed him away. "Sorry, Alenko, it's breakfast time."

"You're a mean, mean woman, Brianna Shepard."

She pushed open the front of the shirt, put her hands on her hips, and did a little temptations wiggle. Sticking out her tongue, she said, "You know it."


	8. Chapter Eight: Tree Epiphanies

While Kaidan showered after breakfast (he was _very_ adamant about needing one, choking it out at he stumbled into the bathroom), Shepard sat down in front of the tree- _their_tree- and stared at the three gifts from Kaidan sitting next to the three gifts from her (she had dressed after Kaidan locked himself in the bathroom). It still boggled her mind that he had bothered to come back to the house and celebrate Christmas with nothing more than a week worth of memories.

She wished that she had been able to come back with him every year and make new memories. It still seemed unreal that he had two years of horrible memories- of _life_- that she would never get to share with him. Those two years were just gone, and they could never be returned.

Each of the three gifts were a different size. Bri knew that the largest box was from this, current, year. She had known that he was an amazing man, but this just reiterated the point.

But, this called his words on Horizon on question.

He said that he _had_ loved her. Past tense. The fact that he continued to show up every year with a gift made her question if he had ever, really, stopped.

The problem was that they had never said they loved each other. There hadn't been enough time. She knew that she loved him, but what they had had been so new that she didn't want to ruin it by saying those three, very powerful, words too soon. Even after Horizon, she knew that she loved him.

It had been their first fight, so it stung. The fact that he had tried to move on had hurt even more. But, she had already told him that he should have moved on.

Hugging her knees to her chest, Bri smiled at the idea of Kaidan breaking that doctor's heart. She could logically think that he should move on, but, emotionally, she reveled in the idea that he broke many hearts because he still loved her.

Especially tiny, little blonde doctors.

She stood up and went to turn on some Christmas music and then sat in front of the windows to watch it fake-snow.


	9. Chapter Nine: Christmas Traditions

**_Author's Note:_****_ This one is thanks to you gracie21. Enjoy!_**

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The cold shower had been necessary. As Kaidan stepped out of the freezing cold water and wrapped himself in a towel, he forced himself _not_ to focus on the memory of breakfast.

Not that it was a _bad_ memory, it just didn't lead to him thinking properly.

He dressed himself in a pair of dark blue jeans and a black shirt (civies that he almost never wore) and made his way out to the living area. He sight of Bri sitting, watching the snow tugged on something close to his heart (_alright_, he admitted silently, _it is his heart_). She was wearing a regular black t-shirt and a pair of regular blue jeans with no socks or shoes. She was like a little kid, watching in wonder at something that rarely happened.

"When's the last time you saw snow?"

She looked up at him and her eyes turned haunted as she whispered, "Alchera."

Kaidan walked forward and sat down next to her and took her into his arms. "You were still awake when you entered atmo?"

Bri shook her head. "No, I went back. I needed to see what happened to the Normandy- the original one- and I collected the tags of those who didn't make it."

"Did anyone go with you?"

"No."

They sat quietly for a few hours- watching the snow, lost in memories- and occasionally asked each other small things that had little importance except to each other.

"What did you used to do every year with your mom and dad?" Kaidan asked suddenly.

"Open presents. They had a deal that, no matter where they were, they'd always be together for Christmas." The _like us_ didn't have to be said.

"Besides that."

Bri got a faraway look on her face as she thought about it. "It wasn't easy, being raised on ships. There wasn't ever really room or time to make traditions. But, my dad had this file on an OSD of...god, what were they called?" She bit her bottom lip as she thought about it. "Alvin and the Chipmunks! He'd put that on and that's _all_ we would listen to for two days. They had Christmas songs and I knew _all_ the words and I'd sing along." She looked up at him and asked, "What kind of things did you do?"

Kaidan stood up and pulled her with him, fiddling with his omni-tool as he led her into the kitchen. By the time they reached the counters, Alvin and the Chipmunks were singing their Hula Hoop Christmas Song, which had Bri singing quietly along. The look on her face when it started to play made him positive that he had done the right thing.

He took out boxes of random stuff and a few things before looking expectantly at Bri. "I don't know what this stuff makes, Kaidan."

"Gingerbread cookies!" he laughed and began putting the ingredients together.

They worked in relative silence except for him occasionally telling her to add a few ingredients or not to stir as hard. Sometimes, when she wasn't looking, he would just stop and watch her. She wore the same look of intensity mixing ingredients as she did when cleaning her rifle. She aimed to make sure that every single thing she did was perfect. Still, every now and again, she would sing a few of the words to a song.

It still amazed him that she knew Alvin and the Chipmunks. They were older than their great-grandparents. It was back before humans had ever even been to the moon!

"Are you planning on helping or staring?" she asked playfully, interrupting his thoughts as she quickly swiped a finger full of gingerbread dough down the center of his face with a laugh.

He chuckled and made a grab for her, but she skirted around him and managed to get another smear across his face. "Is that how it's going to be?" he laughed, filling his hand with dough and lunging at her. That time, she wasn't quick enough and her face ended up covered in the dough. She laughed and brought both of her hands to his hair and proceeded to run the dough in.

He hadn't been expecting that.

"Yeah, it's going to be a little like that!"

Kaidan chuckled and biotically lifted the bowl that was behind Bri's back and grabbed it before scoping out all the dough and putting it over her head. With a shriek, she rubbed her head into Kaidan's shoulder and then wiped handful from her hair and rubbed them over him.

The battle was intense and lasted for a good half hour, but Kaidan finally called out his defeat when Bri took some of the dough and put it in his pants (which he deserved after he stuffed some down her shirt).

"Quitter," Bri taunted and laughed at him. He was filthy and it was possible that no visible inch of him was un-doughed. He, too, laughed, because she was the same. "Is this how cookie making always ended in your house?"

Kaidan hugged her to him (it wasn't as though he could get any dirtier) and shook his head. "No, they usually ended as cookies on a little plate with icing on top of them."

She only heard the key word. "Icing?"

"_No_," he assured her.

Shepard leaned into him and licked some of the dough off his neck. "Mm, at least it ended tastely."

"I just had a shower, you know," he informed her, trying to sound peeved, but not managing it.

Bri looked at a clock on the wall. "It's been a few hours. It's 1700 hours." She smiled up at him after taking another lick of his neck. "How about you start supper while I shower?" she asked as he took a tasting of her.

"Mmkay," he agreed.

She stepped away and made her way to the shower, leaving little gingerbread prints in her wake. Kaidan chuckled until he heard the bathroom door close.

There had once been a time that he would have followed her into the shower.


	10. Chapter Ten: Close

On the morning of Christmas, Bri slipped from the bed just as she had been doing for the last two days and made to put on one of Kaidan's shirts, but found the entire damn dresser empty. She padded over to the closet and it, too, was empty. Well, apparently he wanted her to cook in nothing but her underwear.

After a moments thought, she crawled gently onto the bed (still in her sweats and a tank) and lightly straddled him, not putting any weight on him. Bri leaned forward and kissed his neck softly- barely touching him at all.

"Kaidan," she murmured, moving her way to his ear before gently nibbling on his lobe, causing him to groan in his sleep. She trailed light kisses across his jaw. "Kaidan." Again, he didn't open his eyes. She pressed a kiss to his lips. "Kaidan."

"Hmm?" he responded, kissing her back.

"Wake up, Kaidan," she ordered as she ran a free hand down his naked chest.

He shook his head. "Mm-mm."

"Why?"

"I don't smell food or hear you trying to sing."

With a smirk, she answered, "I was going to, but there didn't seem to be any shirts for me to wear."

Kaidan opened an eye and grinned guiltily. "Kinda the point, Bri."

She leaned forward so their chests were pressed together and, in his ear, whispered, "If you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask."

His breath caught in his throat. There was no witty come-back for that. He pressed a hand to her cheek and brought her face back up to his and kissed her hungrily.

Bri pulled back and stared down at him, studying his features and sighed as she rolled off of him. "Where're you going?" he asked.

"Why don't we open gifts, Kaidan?" she asked in a small voice that had him trying to figure out where he went wrong.

He sat up and rested his hand on the small of her back. She gave him a look that he couldn't quite decipher before she moved off the bed and left the room. Then he got it.

He hadn't asked.

She didn't know what was going on in his head.

Bri needed to know that he wasn't doing all of this because of a memory. She needed to know that he was doing it all because she was Bri.

She didn't want sex...she wanted love.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Gifts Part One

Kaidan padded slowly out of the bedroom and sat down on the floor next to Bri- who silently handed him a beer while she held a glass of wine. He frowned at the beer as though it was the cause of the current problems before setting it aside and taking her glass from her hand and setting it aside as well.

He silently picked up the smallest gift from him (labeled 2184) and handed it to her. She opened it slowly, never looking up at him until she saw it.

It was a piece of metal- about the size of her little finger. On one side, it read "Remember" and on the other side it read "Normandy SR-1" and had a small chain similar to that of her dog tags...her old dog tags.

"I don't understand," she murmured as she held the pendant up to the light to get a better look.

"That first year was a hard one," Kaidan explained softly. "You were gone and it seemed like the Brass just wanted all of the Normandy's crew to forget everything about the SR-1. The metal...well...I took a few small pieces from the crash." He pulled out his dog tags and showed her his pendant attached to them.

Shepard sat the pendant down and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you."

He handed her the next labeled 2185. She opened it and her jaw dropped open. He had gotten her a model ship. Not just any model ship, but one from her favorite show growing up- StarGate Atlantis. "How did you even remember? I think I mentioned it, maybe, once!"

Kaidan chuckled. "I tend to remember all your favorite things, Bri."

She bobbed her head enthusiastically. "This is going straight up to my cabin and-" Bri stopped and shook her head. No. She wouldn't take it to her cabin, she'd make sure that she had it on her person before she turned herself in.

The last one was labeled 2186. She opened it slowly, glancing up now and again at Kaidan's blank face. The packaged reveal a black dress.

"When all the crazy is done, and we survive, I want you to have that so I can take you out on a real date- not hidden retreats to old houses or snuck dances in a club we're running a mission through, a real date."

"But frat-"

He shook his head. "I don't give a damn."

Those were five of the most beautiful words Bri had ever heard.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Gifts Part Two

The remaining three gifts were for Kaidan, but Bri made no move to hand them to him. She kept her eyes down on the dress. Something about the simplicity of his statement about taking her on a date- regardless of the rules- stayed with her.

She shook her head and handed him the first gift. Kaidan didn't open, but, instead watched her. "Three?"

"One for each year."

"Two of those years didn't count."

"They count for me because they counted for you."

He nodded once in acceptance and unwrapped it carefully and then threw his head back in a laugh. Bri smiled a his reaction as he pulled his gift completely from the package and held it up. "A pocket knife?"

It wasn't like she hadn't seen the humor when she bought it. Kaidan didn't even need a gun- not really- since he was a biotic, and he was extremely proficient in the heavy pistol (and the assault riffle, if what she saw on Horizon was any indicator). "You said that you used to have one," she said simply.

"When I was ten! I can't believe you remember that."

"You said that it was the best gift that your parents had ever given you and you were still upset that you lost it all those years ago." She looked away from him and picked up the next gift. "I know it can't replace the one they gave you, and it's not the same, but...there it is."

Kaidan sat it down and hugged her and kissed her cheek. "It's better," he murmured like a promise.

She passed him another gift- a smaller package, but somewhat heavier. After he opened it, he smiled softly. He would recognize that metal anywhere. He held up the little Normandy pin and let the metal shine in the sunshine.

"How in the world did you manage to get metal from that beacon on Eden Prime?"

Bri smiled. "Not all of it is from the Beacon, a lot of it is from the SR-1." She grimaced slightly. "Shrapnel is a bitch- my armor was embedded with the stuff."

"Why'd you choose to make it the Normandy?"

She gave him a sweet smile. "Well, because the Normandy is was what brought us together and Eden Prime was the beginning."

Kaidan took the last- largest- package from her and smiled when he opened it. It was Canadian Whiskey- and his favorite brand. She hadn't forgot a single thing.

"Thank you," he said, setting aside all their gifts and standing up, pulling her with him and into his arms.

"Back at you, marine," she answered playfully.

"I have something to tell you." He paused and swallowed hard. "I should have told you this a long time."

"Kaidan-"

"I love you," he stated matter-of-factly. She gaped at him in shock, trying to find the proper words. She wondered if she had imagined him saying those words. "Bri," he said softly, taking her face in his hands gently, "I love you."

Bri felt like she was going to cry, but nodded her head. "I love you too, Kaidan."


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Coming Home

She leaned into his hand, but kept her eyes lock on his. "Do you forgive me?"

Kaidan searched her face for a long moment before shrugging. "I understand why you did what you did. I finally get it. You are you." He gave her a gentle kiss and pulled far enough away to get a view of her face. "Which means there's nothing to forgive- you were doing your job as an Alliance Special Operative."

There it was. Everything she had needed to hear when he woke up. The best part was that she knew that he really meant what he said.

Bri wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled his mouth down to her own, feeling as though the galaxy was going to stop without him being connected to him. It felt perfect as he gripped her thighs and lifted her so he could carry her to bed.

She took his earlobe in between her teeth gently, just as she did that morning and was pleased when he stumbled a bit and gave a low grow before nipping at her shoulder.

"Too heavy for you, marine?" she asked him playfully as he put her back to her feet. He growled low at her and claimed her mouth once more and struggled to get her shirt off. She laughed and buried her face in his neck as she made quick work of ridding him of his shirt. "Been a while, Kaidan?"

"Two years," he informed her as he finally got her shirt off.

"Nuh-uh," she shook her head and he growled and kept her near him as he began fumbling with her pants. "Not since that morning?"

He chuckled from success and pushed her pants and underwear down in one swift move. "No." Bri pushed him back a step and stepped from her discarded clothing and made quick work of his pants and pushed them down his hips, revealing him in all his glory. "Seems it hasn't been as long for you," he said with a bit of jealousy coloring his voice.

She laughed as he got rid of her bra and filled his hands with her breasts. "When your dead, it doesn't seem like two years- which means that that morning wasn't so long ago for me."

Dipping his head to her right breast, he took her nipple into his mouth as he lowered his other hand between her legs and stroked her throbbing bud. She moaned softly in her throat and buried her hands in his hair. In response to his sweet torture, she took him into her hand and stroked him as well, eliciting a hum from the back of Kaidan's throat.

He moved his hand from between her legs and wrapped his arm around her waist, his hand pressed into the small curve of her back and put enough pressure to lay her down onto the bed as he lifted his head and kissed her.

Before he entered her, his face hovered over hers, drinking in her features, and he knew that he was finally coming home.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__** This was going to have a lurid sex scene, but I decided that Author's do that a lot. So, just as Bioware does, I just did the lead up to the act. Sorry if that disappoints anyone! I mean, there is going to be a few more posts tomorrow before I close this story up, so, if the demand is high enough, I will write a sex scene.**_


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Goodbye

They spent the remainder of Christmas in bed, leaving only long enough for a few, quick meals. It had taken Kaidan a little bit to get back into the swing of things, but they got there together...

...Many times...

Time ceased to mean much to them until the twenty-sixth and Bri's omni-tool beeped. She wiggled away from Kaidan (who grumbled his disapproval) and read the message. She sighed and turned it off.

"Who was it?" he asked, sitting up.

It took Bri a moment to answer. She found her eyes drawn to his bare chest. Now, she had always loved his abs, but, he had gone from having a four pack (which is acceptable), to having an eight pack and she enjoyed the view. It was also covered in a light sheen of sweat which, she was pleased to admit, was because of her and their amorous activities.

"Alarm," she murmured and stood up and began searching for clothes.

He stayed silent for a moment while he appreciated her named form in the low light. "For?"

"Joker'll be in system in about two hours to pick me and the shuttle up," she explained as she found a bra, her underwear, and, exactly, one sock.

"You were only planning on staying until day?" he asked, getting out of bed to find his own clothes.

She cast him an exasperated look over her shoulder. "I didn't think that you'd be here," she pointed out, and saw her sock on the lamp behind Kaidan.

"You could always tell him to stay away," he murmured, taking her into his arms.

She shook her head. "I can't," she whispered, looking away from him and pulling out of his arms. "I have to go to Earth."

"I'll go with you," he insisted.

"No. I'm not going to risk your career like that. No, you'll go do whatever you were planning to do after Christmas." She pulled on her underwear and pants.

"You think it's going to be that bad?" he asked as he, too, dressed.

She stood up, her grim expression was slightly marred by the bra dangling in her hand, but didn't quite ease her words. "I destroyed an entire system of Batarian's, Kaidan." She shook her head. "No, it's going to be worse than bad and I want you to stay away from me the entire time."

"Brianna-"

"No," she snapped, maneuvering herself into her bra. "I promise, if you come anywhere near me, I will never forgive you." She softened her expression as she said, "I'm doing this to protect you."

Kaidan took her chin in his hand and kissed her sweetly. "I know," he murmured.

They finished dressing and packed their bags, not saying much. But, as they loaded up their respective shuttles, Kaidan stopped her before she could begin prep.

"Bri, wait."

"What is it?"

"Six months."

"Hmm?"

"If you're not free in six months, I'm coming to see you- damn the consequences."

She smiled at him. "Only once," she said sternly and hugged him.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair.

"I love you too," she whispered as she stepped from his arms and entered her shuttle.

That was the last time they saw each other until the Reaper attack on Earth...

...six months later...

* * *

_**Author's note:**__** I thank all of you who have been reading and following my five day Christmas story! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you for all the lovely comments as well! :) Please feel free to read my other stories (just click on my name). Curious Jealousy is my current story and is updated every Friday (and it has a two chapter Christmas special as well). :) 3**_


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